Torn Apart
by wild horse
Summary: CHAP 2 UP! post-tpm. Qui-gon takes Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan, leaving behind an Apprentice filled with pain and bitter resentment. AU.
1. chapter 1

Title: Torn Apart

Summary: Qui-gon survives Maul and takes Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan, leaving behind an Apprentice filled with pain and bitter resentment. AU.  Post-TPM.

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, I make no money from this.

A/n: this is something I'm trying out my hand at, hope ya like it, I know it's abit short, but ah well, and it's in Obi's pov.

He left me for someone else, my Master left me.

The one I loved and trusted nearly half of all my life, the one I was always loyal to.  In an instance, he dropped me and turned away, not caring about me anymore.

Master Qui-gon.

No.  He's no more my master.

He's someone else's Master now.

Anakin Skywalker, it was all his fault.  He took Qui-gon away from me.  Anakin was just a boy, but Qui-gon said it was the will of the Force to train him.  Qui-gon disobeyed the Council's advice, and went his own way, not knowing – or really bothering – how much he hurt me.  Am I jealous?  Maybe I am, but it's not that kind of jealousy, like when someone else has a toy or something I really want.  It's a different kind.

So, my Master left me.  And I hate them both, Anakin and Qui-gon.  I don't know who I hate more – I never thought I could have hated my Master.  Hate leads to the Dark side, I know, but what does it matter?  I'm not going to be a Jedi for much longer.  Who would choose a Padawan this old?  I'm so close and yet so far, to Knighthood.

That's not all.  When Qui-gon chose me, he made an unspoken promise that all Masters make, to train me as best he could until I became a Knight.  He broke that promise.  On the spur of the moment, he dumped me and took on Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin takes my place at Qui-gon's side.  I belong to no-one, soon I will belong no-where, in four weeks.  No longer a Jedi.  It frightens me, but I can only hope something good will happen, while knowing, deep in my heart, that nothing will.  The Bond between us has been torn apart, I do not think it would ever be mended.  

a/n: thanks for reading, I'll put up the next chapter, maybe either Tuesday or Saturday or so, I know it's a long time, but I'll try and upload earlier.  :) – wild horse


	2. chapter 2

Title: Torn Apart

Summary: Qui-gon survives Maul and takes Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan, leaving behind an Apprentice filled with pain and bitter resentment. AU.  Post-TPM.

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, I make no money from this.

Acknowledgements: Jesus, Padawan Nik-ka, guys at The_reviewers group, Prince Luke Skywalker, Ivy B, galahan (trying to use your ideas!), ginger ninja, redtailhawk

A/n: thanks for all your wonderful reviews… =)  sorry for updating late.  :)  oh yeah, and when I said qui-gon survived maul, I didn't mean he survived the wound, I mean he just survived the fight. =)

Chapter 2:

I walk into the Council Room, and bow to the Masters who sit in the circle around me.  Qui-gon stands about a metre away to my left, Anakin trying hard not to fidget beside him.  Qui-gon glances in my direction – I can feel his gaze, but I don't bother to even turn my head or nod.  He doubts the judgement of the Council.  When the Council says I am not ready, he says that I am.  Then, he takes another Apprentice, confident that I will be allowed to take the Trials.  

Stubborn.

That is Qui-gon.  Not caring how many people he has to knock down, just so he can build up a bleak structure of what he wants.  He doesn't know, and doesn't care to find out, the pain he's caused me, the shattered hopes and dreams he's left behind.  He thinks Xanatos left him, so he can leave me.  

It's not supposed to work that way!

But it is going that way.  And I can't stop it.  Still, I stand in front of the Council this morning, to hear what they have to say.  Maybe it's a mission, or maybe, they're going to tell me to pack up and go.  There's fear, I feel afraid.

_Don't be afraid, Padawan.  I will be there for you.  _

Yeah right, Qui-gon.  What are you doing there, next to that boy?  He has talent.  So throw away Obi-wan, and pick up the dream Apprentice.

He senses my thoughts, or at least part of them, I know.  And maybe the Council does too, but I don't care.  I don't care anymore.  It's not fair. But then again, it was never meant to be.  

"Called you all in here today, the Council has," Master Yoda gargles softly in his weird voice.  Somehow, it doesn't seem as warm as when he used to talk to Qui-gon and me as a pair.

"We are sending you on a mission." Mace Windu continues for Master Yoda, lacing his long fingers together and leaning forward, an intense expression in his eyes.  "Together.  Recently, Jedi Master Adi Gallia has gone missing on a diplomatic mission.  We suspect she has been captured.  The planet is dangerous, and the mission will be difficult."

"Use caution, you must…" Master Yoda adds quietly.

"What planet is this?" Anakin's voice now.  Doesn't he know the term 'respectful silence'?  Or, 'let your elders speak first'?  Obviously not.  Qui-gon's probably so thrilled with his Force ability, he lets Anakin get away with things like this.

"Melida/Daan," Yoda answers, his eyes are clearly troubled.

Two people in the room start in shock.  Myself, and Qui-gon.  Melida/Daan is where I betrayed Qui-gon and left him, so long ago.  He remembers, and so do I.  Ironically though, now it is he who betrayed me.

"They are still warring.  The peace never lasted long enough…" I hear Master Windu, but I'm not listening.  If I had stayed, I would have been fighting for a losing, useless cause.  Like the way Qui-gon betrayed me now, for a losing, useless cause – Anakin.  

"The mission is simple enough.  Get in, look out for Master Gallia, and get out again, with her." Ki-adi-mundi now.

"Trust each other, you will have to," Mace Windu adds slowly.  "I know there is a rift, but everyone has to work together.  Qui-gon, you and Obi-wan are the only Jedi who have been to Melida/Daan before, and we need all your experience to rescue Master Gallia.  It is not personal anymore.  Obi-wan, Qui-gon," Mace Windu looks at each of us in turn.  Clearly, he and the Council have discussed Qui-gon's actions very thoroughly.  Good.  Maybe then they'll know how wrong he really is.  

I know I sound petty, but what in Sith?  He left me!  Without even a good explanation.  He never even bothered to say at least 'goodbye'.  

"May the Force be with you," Master Yoda dismisses us quickly.  

As soon as we're out of the Council room, we walk side-by-side for a long time, before Qui-gon finally stops and tells Anakin, "Go back to your quarters first, Padawan."  After Anakin has run off, he turns to me.

I see the warmth in his eyes, but I meet it with an ice-cold wall in my own eyes.

"Obi-wan, you have to see…he _is the Chosen One."_

"You haven't finished with me yet," I say softly.  "What you started, you never finished."

"No," Qui-gon shakes his head.  "No.  You are ready, like I told the Council.  I wasn't lying to them when I said it."

"You were, Qui-gon.  Face it, you were lying," I struggle to keep my own voice calm.  I know it will trouble him more if I seem cool and rational rather than hot-headed and emotional.  "Anakin has potential, and you want to be the one who discovered it, you want to be the Master of somebody."

"No…" Qui-gon starts, his voice breaking.

"Yes," I raise my voice by just a fraction, "You want to train a Somebody, not duds, like me and Xanatos."

The pain that shoots across his face doesn't give me any satisfaction, much to my surprise.  Rather, I can almost feel it, and it makes me want to cry, all of a sudden.  _But for what?  For some Master who just dumps me?  No way._

"Obi-wan.  The Council will let you take the Trials, once they see that you are ready."

"They will never let me take the Trials, don't you see?  Don't you ever open your eyes and see, Qui-gon?  Instead of…going off on your own, not caring who you hurt?"

"I love you, Obi, as a son."

I ignore his use of his nickname for me.  "Then why did you leave me?" I can't bite back the depth of the hurt and emotion in that last sentence.  "Why?"

"Because I felt it was time for me to let go."

For a while, he actually makes sense.  His words ram through the hard walls of stone I've built around my heart, and I can feel myself going to pieces in front of him.  

No.  I can't let this happen.  I can't let him see, because he just won't understand.  He never will.

A/n: will try and get the next chap up by the next one or two weeks… =)  thanx for your patience… and reviews - wild horse


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